Man, this week has been challenging in so many ways! I'm so thankful that I have a job, one that I love, but sometimes one can't always be in love with what they are doing and I'm totally feeling that right now.
It's just that it's a crazy busy time of year at work because we have all of these big meetings planned and then we head straight into the madness of the holiday season with no time to breathe. None of this stuff is even happening yet and I'm feeling like I could drown in the amount of "stuff". Part of my issue is that I'm such a planner and scheduler that when new things pop up I get a little angry- angry that people didn't tell me earlier so I could add what needed to get done in to my already full schedule, angry that I have to rearrange my plans, angry that I have yet another thing or things added to my to do list, and angry that I'm angry and frustrated. I just want some peace, or as one of my favorite television characters would say, "Serenity now!". I'm already looking into escaping for a few days at some point in October just so I don't completely lose my sanity.
I'm thinking I need to start meditating on my lunch breaks.
Also, if you live in the Pacific Northwest you may have noticed that summer died on Sunday and we awoke on Monday to Autumn, in all of it's cooler-weather, leaf-falling, foggy morning and cloudy day glory. I have such mixed feelings about this because I love Fall, but we had the shortest summer ever.
On a related note our Halloween costumes are purchased and I only have to find footwear for mine. And it's Friday.
Sigh.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
In Remembrance
10 years ago I was a Junior in high school. My day started like most other school days: I got up around 5:20, made some tea and got dressed and made the brisk walk to my school. I always arrived earlier than I needed to because I like my time alone in the morning to prepare for the day. I sat in the Music hallway floor just before 7am, put my headphones on and pulled out some homework that I still needed to work on. As I worked I got restless and moved myself out to the common area of the school to find a seat to continue working. A TV had been set up for something that was going on earlier in the week and some of the students and teachers that were at school for "Zero period" (the class period that starts before school officially starts) had turned it on to watch the morning shows. I pulled my headphones off so I could hear the news while I worked. A few minutes passed before the news show changed to the National news morning show on that station, nothing out of the ordinary yet.
I remember hearing about a plane crash that caught my attention. What was being described was a horrific accident in NY, so I listened for a moment before returning to my work. I packed up my stuff and headed to my first class, worrying slightly about the people in NY that had been in the plane and in the building hit but wasn't overly concerned. As usual, I was one of the first to my morning class. I remember sitting down and spacing out as my classmates wandered in and found their seats. Our teacher had not yet arrived and the din of morning chatter started to grow. The bell rang and our teacher walked in and wanted us to come out into the common area with her to see the news. We were a little excited to be getting out of class work and followed her down the hallway into the main common area.
As I watched, the crowd grew and my head was spinning with the details, trying to grasp what was happening. I was seeing the plane I heard about earlier and where it crashed into one of the towers, but then I was seeing a second plane crash into it's twin tower next door. The news reporters were speculating an attack while reports of a hijacked plane in Pennsylvania and a crash at the Pentagon poured in. Live shots of NY alternated with shots of Washington DC. Our supervising teachers were trying to keep people calm and telling us to not worry until we knew more details. We watched flames and debris in the towers burst and fall, we watched the black smoke billow from the Pentagon, we watched little dots fall from the towers as if propelled from within... those little dots, I think, were people. We watched the top of the tower fall and the dust and smoke billow around the streets of NY.
Time seemed to stop and then fast forward in short bursts the rest of the day. No one really attended classes and a few of my friends went home early because their parents came to pull them out of school. By the end of my school day (2 hours before most because I had an honors pass and early release) I was more confused and a little scared about what these attacks meant, who was "attacking" us, what was my country going to do.
I went home and immediately turned the television on. I called my mom at work to make sure that none of our family on the East coast had been in NY for any reason that day. I said little prayers for the people affected all while watching replays of the morning's coverage.
For days afterwards I was confused, I think the whole United States was. I didn't understand what was happening or why someone would do this. I watched the heartbreaking pleas on tv of people trying to find their lost loved ones in the hysteria and destruction of the city. I watched people debate terrorism and new wars and military action. Mostly what I felt was sadness and lost. I didn't lose anyone personally, but collectively we lost a lot as a country. It was a shared pain that seemed oddly deep to me. Maybe it was because I felt so confident that I lived in a safe and free nation and that feeling had never been shaken; my resolve had never been tested. It was very unsettling, that feeling of being ambushed and being unprepared.
Ten years later I still sometimes feel that loss and pain. I feel now that some of that was me grieving human lives lost and part of it was me grieving the loss of my feelings of security and strength. As time has passed and more stories of that day are shared, I'm grateful to the folks who tried their hardest to keep this country safe and derail plots against us. I'm grateful to the service people of our country to who searched for the lost and hurt, who cared for the injured and grieving and gave their lives to save others. I'm grateful that I had many chances to help as well and did what I could to aid those in need because it probably helped me more than it helped them. I'm thankful that September 11, though an awful event, brought people together in the end. I can look back and see how we've grown a little closer because of it.
In remembrance of all those who lost their lives and loved ones; I will never forget.
I remember hearing about a plane crash that caught my attention. What was being described was a horrific accident in NY, so I listened for a moment before returning to my work. I packed up my stuff and headed to my first class, worrying slightly about the people in NY that had been in the plane and in the building hit but wasn't overly concerned. As usual, I was one of the first to my morning class. I remember sitting down and spacing out as my classmates wandered in and found their seats. Our teacher had not yet arrived and the din of morning chatter started to grow. The bell rang and our teacher walked in and wanted us to come out into the common area with her to see the news. We were a little excited to be getting out of class work and followed her down the hallway into the main common area.
As I watched, the crowd grew and my head was spinning with the details, trying to grasp what was happening. I was seeing the plane I heard about earlier and where it crashed into one of the towers, but then I was seeing a second plane crash into it's twin tower next door. The news reporters were speculating an attack while reports of a hijacked plane in Pennsylvania and a crash at the Pentagon poured in. Live shots of NY alternated with shots of Washington DC. Our supervising teachers were trying to keep people calm and telling us to not worry until we knew more details. We watched flames and debris in the towers burst and fall, we watched the black smoke billow from the Pentagon, we watched little dots fall from the towers as if propelled from within... those little dots, I think, were people. We watched the top of the tower fall and the dust and smoke billow around the streets of NY.
Time seemed to stop and then fast forward in short bursts the rest of the day. No one really attended classes and a few of my friends went home early because their parents came to pull them out of school. By the end of my school day (2 hours before most because I had an honors pass and early release) I was more confused and a little scared about what these attacks meant, who was "attacking" us, what was my country going to do.
I went home and immediately turned the television on. I called my mom at work to make sure that none of our family on the East coast had been in NY for any reason that day. I said little prayers for the people affected all while watching replays of the morning's coverage.
For days afterwards I was confused, I think the whole United States was. I didn't understand what was happening or why someone would do this. I watched the heartbreaking pleas on tv of people trying to find their lost loved ones in the hysteria and destruction of the city. I watched people debate terrorism and new wars and military action. Mostly what I felt was sadness and lost. I didn't lose anyone personally, but collectively we lost a lot as a country. It was a shared pain that seemed oddly deep to me. Maybe it was because I felt so confident that I lived in a safe and free nation and that feeling had never been shaken; my resolve had never been tested. It was very unsettling, that feeling of being ambushed and being unprepared.
Ten years later I still sometimes feel that loss and pain. I feel now that some of that was me grieving human lives lost and part of it was me grieving the loss of my feelings of security and strength. As time has passed and more stories of that day are shared, I'm grateful to the folks who tried their hardest to keep this country safe and derail plots against us. I'm grateful to the service people of our country to who searched for the lost and hurt, who cared for the injured and grieving and gave their lives to save others. I'm grateful that I had many chances to help as well and did what I could to aid those in need because it probably helped me more than it helped them. I'm thankful that September 11, though an awful event, brought people together in the end. I can look back and see how we've grown a little closer because of it.
In remembrance of all those who lost their lives and loved ones; I will never forget.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
And She Squealed with Delight!
OMG, have you been to a store recently? Besides "Back to School" stuff, do you know what is creeping into the seasonal aisles of my favorite places?
HALLOWEEN!
Every year I about hyperventilate when I find Autumn decorations and Halloween stuff popping up in stores. I LOVE FALL. Everything about it. I love warm days and cool crisp nights, I love hot cocoa and cider in the evening, I love the colors of the changing leaves, I love fall-harvest produce, I love wearings jeans and boots and sweaters, I love handing out candy and getting cutesy decorations, I love dressing up!
I mean, I love all holidays, but for some reason Halloween has a special place in my heart.
I ventured to Joann's the other day with BF to find a few crafty items for his classroom when lo-and-behold! Halloween and Fall decorations greeted me as I entered and I was in heaven. BF lost me for a while as I roamed the aisles and I immediately picked out a cute Autumn themed welcome sign to hang in our entry way. I made notes of the decorations I needed to go back and look out without BF because I don't think he'd appreciate spending massive amounts of time there the way I do.
Anyhow, so more errand running later and I had to go to Petsmart to get some things for Rudy when I found the seasonal pet item aisle. I didn't buy him any fall or halloween themed toys because most of them have squeakers in them or are made of materials that Rudy would eat pretty quickly, but I did find an ADORABLE line of pet Halloween costumes and I needed no persuading. I picked out a good one (one that I think Rudy wouldn't mind too much) that glows in the dark. I took pictures of Rudy in it when I got home- you know, just to be sure it fit, but I'll wait to post those until closer to Halloween.
Also, in my travels around town I noticed that Martha Stewart makes a damn good line of products. At the craft store I was instantly drawn to her Autumn themed decorations and at Petsmart I fell in love with her pet products. I mean, I've always loved the woman, I feel like we are very similar, but it's like she read my mind when creating some of these things. Like the pet-grooming caddy. Right now we currently store Rudy's grooming items in a bucket so they are all together, but I have to dig for items frequently. I'm so tempted to buy that caddy so everything has it's own place (nothing will get lost) and it's cute.
Oh yeah, and today is the first day of school here in Portland. BF and I spent countless hours coloring and cutting and getting organized for the first week of school (did you know some curiculum comes in black and white and you have to color and put it together yourself? LAME). BF was so excited and nervous yesterday, but I'm sure that today is going to go well. He's teaching 1st Grade this year and I think it's going to be so much fun! I'm hoping I get to chaperone some of the field trips!
I'm also sure that parents are excited for their kids to be occupied for a good part of the day now. I was at Target the other day and I felt bad for this poor lady- she had 4 kids between the ages of 2 and 12 and I could tell she was just done. They were shopping for school supplies and one of the middle kids kept poking the little one in the cart to make her cry and the older one was asking for EVERYTHING in the store and the other middle one was running to and fro down the aisle leaving bottles of Elmer's glue and pink erasers in his wake. I love kids, but I also love not having them yet. My trips to the store are much less stressful.
Anyhow, I'm beyond excited that Fall is on it's way. Not that we had too much of a summer, but I cannot help it that I love this time of year.
Speaking of summer... what's with the heat this week? I mean, NOW we have to start using the AC? It's freakin' September!
HALLOWEEN!
Every year I about hyperventilate when I find Autumn decorations and Halloween stuff popping up in stores. I LOVE FALL. Everything about it. I love warm days and cool crisp nights, I love hot cocoa and cider in the evening, I love the colors of the changing leaves, I love fall-harvest produce, I love wearings jeans and boots and sweaters, I love handing out candy and getting cutesy decorations, I love dressing up!
I mean, I love all holidays, but for some reason Halloween has a special place in my heart.
I ventured to Joann's the other day with BF to find a few crafty items for his classroom when lo-and-behold! Halloween and Fall decorations greeted me as I entered and I was in heaven. BF lost me for a while as I roamed the aisles and I immediately picked out a cute Autumn themed welcome sign to hang in our entry way. I made notes of the decorations I needed to go back and look out without BF because I don't think he'd appreciate spending massive amounts of time there the way I do.
Anyhow, so more errand running later and I had to go to Petsmart to get some things for Rudy when I found the seasonal pet item aisle. I didn't buy him any fall or halloween themed toys because most of them have squeakers in them or are made of materials that Rudy would eat pretty quickly, but I did find an ADORABLE line of pet Halloween costumes and I needed no persuading. I picked out a good one (one that I think Rudy wouldn't mind too much) that glows in the dark. I took pictures of Rudy in it when I got home- you know, just to be sure it fit, but I'll wait to post those until closer to Halloween.
Also, in my travels around town I noticed that Martha Stewart makes a damn good line of products. At the craft store I was instantly drawn to her Autumn themed decorations and at Petsmart I fell in love with her pet products. I mean, I've always loved the woman, I feel like we are very similar, but it's like she read my mind when creating some of these things. Like the pet-grooming caddy. Right now we currently store Rudy's grooming items in a bucket so they are all together, but I have to dig for items frequently. I'm so tempted to buy that caddy so everything has it's own place (nothing will get lost) and it's cute.
Oh yeah, and today is the first day of school here in Portland. BF and I spent countless hours coloring and cutting and getting organized for the first week of school (did you know some curiculum comes in black and white and you have to color and put it together yourself? LAME). BF was so excited and nervous yesterday, but I'm sure that today is going to go well. He's teaching 1st Grade this year and I think it's going to be so much fun! I'm hoping I get to chaperone some of the field trips!
I'm also sure that parents are excited for their kids to be occupied for a good part of the day now. I was at Target the other day and I felt bad for this poor lady- she had 4 kids between the ages of 2 and 12 and I could tell she was just done. They were shopping for school supplies and one of the middle kids kept poking the little one in the cart to make her cry and the older one was asking for EVERYTHING in the store and the other middle one was running to and fro down the aisle leaving bottles of Elmer's glue and pink erasers in his wake. I love kids, but I also love not having them yet. My trips to the store are much less stressful.
Anyhow, I'm beyond excited that Fall is on it's way. Not that we had too much of a summer, but I cannot help it that I love this time of year.
Speaking of summer... what's with the heat this week? I mean, NOW we have to start using the AC? It's freakin' September!
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