Friday, January 29, 2010

Dayquil Induced RIDICULOSITY

I stayed home sick from work on Wednesday.

Sounds great in theory. It wasn't.

It was one of those days where my head hurt so bad and I had the WORST body aches ever that there was really no way I was going to be comfortable. Every slight noise reverberated through my head like boulders dropped on kettle drums; every ray of light stung my eyes and sharpened the ache; every swallow or movement of my neck agitated the swollen glands and nodes in my throat, and every position imaginable in my super comfy bed was ultimately uncomfortable due to my aching joints.

I'm usually not going to take medication unless I have to take it, so I tried to stay hydrated and took a couple of Advil and hoped that I would sleep it away.

It took most of the day but I started feeling better by dinner time. I still had NO energy (I put some clothes in the dryer and almost passed out because it took so much effort) so I sat around and watched useless tv until I found a "Man vs. Wild" marathon that I couldn't resist (who could, that guy is awesome). And then I watched some foody shows on the Food Network. By 7pm I was ready to crawl out of my skin I was so itchy to do something productive, so I drove a mile down the road to fill my tank with gas and then drove back home and checked the mail.

On Thursday morning I woke up feeling much the same as I had the day before, minus the degree of headache. I HAD to go to work so I just loaded my purse up with Osillococinum, herbal tea bags and Dayquil and was on my way.

It was a day of hazzy, buzzy work bliss.

I got a lot done, but I'm not sure how accurate or awesome any of it was. Dayquil has a way of making me a little insane. By 3pm I was in full crash mode, so I left work and went home to take a nap and eat dinner before BF and I headed out to a show.

I was bundled up on the couch like a flu-burrito when BF came over, watching crappy television and had just taken a second dose of 'dayglow' (as I will now refer to it) to pick me up for the late night entertainment we were about to experience. We sat around for a bit until I realized that I looked like heck and needed to clean up if I was going to be out of the house in public. In a mad-dash I threw on some color, grabbed a cute coat and high heels and was out the door.

The car ride was pretty fun, and I thought it was me getting a second wind and being out of the confines of my sick-house until BF said, "You are high on Dayquil".

You know what? He was right.

I was very high on the Dayglow. Everything was sparkly and magical and hilarious and I loved every minute of it, until the Dayglow started wearing off. Luckily I was in Dayglow heaven until after the end of the evening's entertainment.

We went to a reading of "Road House: The Play" at the Gerding Theater because our lovely friend Meagan is a part of it (and we support our awesome friends, darn it!). It was pretty hilarious so I think we'll be seeing the full production this March.

I woke up this morning and I still feel kinda cruddy, but sort of hung over from all the chemical immunity-aid. I am NOT taking Dayglow today. I'd like to actually think and operate on a semi-normal level.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I'm Working On Something Secret and Special... Wanna Help?


I have good ideas some times, and then sometimes I think that I have good ideas until I tell them to someone. This time I really did have a good idea.

Let's start at the begining.

I have this friend named Beau. He is just the sweetest, kindest, most generally nice guy you've ever met, EVER. Some of you may know him, and some of you have not had the pleasure of meeting him. Beau has had some health issues, and recently lost his vision due to a tumor. I'm not an expert on tumors or Beau's health history but I hate feeling like I cannot do anything when life deals tough cards to good people.

Right before the holidays (think October), I was thinking that since Beau had lost his sight and is sort of confined to not doing too much I should make some cd's for him to listen to and help entertain him. Then I started thinking that I should get some people together and we should RECORD a cd for him, since it'd be way cooler to give a cd that features his friends and family. Then I sort of got really busy with work and the holidays and all that.

It was Beau's birthday yesterday and I remembered, "Oh yeah! I had that great idea! I should actually do that". But I can't do it by myself.

I emailed Beau's brother, Zach, and told him about my idea. He said it was a good one and that we should think about who we knew that would like to record a song for Beau... and that he would start coming up with a list of songs that we could cover that he would like.

And THAT is my great idea that I need help with. If you know Beau and would like to contribute to the cd that we are making, please let me or Zach know! I know we can't make him forget all that he is going through, but I thin we can give back some of the happiness that he has given us.

We are just getting started with this project and would like it to be a SURPRISE to Beau, so please keep it a secret!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

LOOK OVER HERE!

Yes, here! (Click on it).

I spent a good part of my day laughing at that.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Upcoming Races

I was thinking I may run in one or all of these:

1. Shamrock Run- March 14, 2010
www.shamrockrunportland.com

2. Race for the Roses- April 11, 2010
www.race4theroses.org

3. Helvetia Half Marathon (or 10k)- May 8, 2010
www.runwithpaula.com


Let me know if you want to run with me!

Old Folks Date Night

You Guys...

BF and I went to see THE Craig Ferguson last night at the Aladdin. It. Was. AMAZING.

I laughed so hard at one point I thought my face was going to fall off of my head. I could also listen to Scottish accents ALL DAY and be perfectly happy.

Anyway, so BF and I got to the Aladdin super early (because I'm smart like that and I know that there will be lines). You know what we noticed right away? That the only people in line were OLD PEOPLE. Seriously, we were the youngest ones there. No big deal, I thought, because young people are still out and about and don't mind fighting for seats so will probably come just as the doors open at 6.

I. Was. Wrong. I have never been more wrong.

No young people came. It was BF and I in a geriatric sea.

So right before the doors opened some guy from the theater came out and posted signs all over saying ," This show is 21 and over, no minors will be permitted inside." No problem, I thought... clearly they won't need to card anyone here to enforce that rule.

Wrong again. They opened the doors and started letting folks in. BF and I were pretty close to the front of the line but it was taking FOREVER to get there. As we got about 4 people from the doors I could hear the security guy telling everyone to show their I.D's. Seriously. I'm pretty sure that BF and I were the only questionably aged ones there... because we were the only ones sans white/gray hair. That's a lie, BF has some white and gray hairs. It's pretty cute, but are hardly noticeable unless you are right up close and personal. I digress.

We finally got inside and scrambled to get some good seats (and we got some GREAT ones, except Mr. Fathead sat in front of me... you know how that goes). Then I ran for the bathroom since we had been standing outside for over an hour in the cold and on the way in I had consumed 1 Coke Zero and a bottle of water. After the bathroom break I got in a monstrous line for pizza because I had saved my cheat meal for the week for this. Boy-Howdy it was delicious pizza. And I also ate most of a bag of kettle corn. I was in a food-induced state of bliss when the opening comedian came on. I don't remember his name, but he was pretty funny.

Then CF came out and everybody went crazy and I was SHOCKED because I had no idea that old people liked CF or could even stay up late enough to watch his show.

The only bad part of the evening was that I had brought his book with me in the hopes that he would be signing autographs, but lo and behold he had a plane to catch and no time. I'm going to write a strongly worded letter suggesting that he come back to Portland and sign my book. OR I will just ask for an autographed picture to make up for it. I will put that picture on my mantle. You think I'm joking?

BF and I also came up with a plan that I would just get really good at something and then become famous for being good at whatever that thing is and go on his show and ask him to sign the book in person.

Also, I realized that Valentine's Day is quickly approaching...

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Disaster Magnet

I must be wearing a sign that says ,"Be an idiot around me and cause destruction to my person and my belongings... it will be fun!"


Seriously, you guys, I am not joking.



Friday evening after work I headed to the Portland International Airport to pick up my parents who were returning from a visit to the Grandparents' in Tennessee. Because I had to take ALL of the major highways in Portland to get to the airport, I was stuck in a considerable amount of traffic- which I planned for so I left a little early. I don't think I reached a speed over 35 mph the whole trip, but I had prepared for this and already had my iPod on a good playlist to keep me from losing my mind in the slow crawl on 26, 405, 84 and then the 205. (Side note: I sing in the car to keep the road rage at bay and it works, but more than once I've caught people staring at me singing at the top of my lungs and you know what? I don't care).


Anyhow, I was on the 205 almost to the airport exit NOT MOVING AT ALL singing my lungs out. I had been sitting in the same spot for about 3 or 4 minutes and not caring at all because Phoenix has some pretty catchy beats that not only can I sing to but I can also dance in my seat to, so that's what I was doing. All of a sudden there is a very LOUD crunching sound and I'm being moved towards the car in front of me. Luckily I'm a smart/lucky lady and had left the proper amount of space as an air cushion in front of me so I did not hit that car. Once my car had stopped moving, I put on my flashers and pulled over the 3 feet to the shoulder and before I knew it I was out of my car moving pretty quickly towards the car that had just hit me.


I'm going to pause here to explain a couple of things.

1. This is not the first time I've been hit by another idiot driver not paying attention to the road and where there was nothing I could do to prevent or avoid the collision.

2. I've come to realize from my previous accidents that my body is programmed to pick, out of the "Fight or Flight" responses, "Fight". I'm not a super agressive person, mostly, so it's kind of a shock to me that this would be my automatic response in a stressful/reactive situation.

3. I had been singing and dancing up to this point so I was in a pretty good mood despite the traffic.


Continue...


I get to the back of my car before I realize that I am out of my car and getting ready to open this person's door and beat the living crap out of them for hitting my car. I stop in my tracks and pretend that I was just getting out to inspect the damage. I stare at my rear bumper for a good thirty seconds before I actually begin to SEE my rear bumper because mostly I'm trying get a good handle on my adrenaline rush. I inspect my bumper as best I can in the dark and rain and realize that my car is AWESOME- hardly a scratch on it. The person that hit me was not as lucky... a Subaru's bumper shaped dent in their front bumper and a bent up license plate- but nothing HUGELY horrific.


We exchange information in the rain and as I'm waiting for them to write extra information down for me I glance up at their car... filled with VERY SMALL children, waving at me. I sort of start to laugh because I realize that they weren't phased in the least by this. It was an adventure to them, not a tragedy (because how can a 3 year old comprehend the possibilities of this situation?) I get back into my car and continue my slow crawl to PDX.


I need to ask a favor now. I need someone to invent an invisible shield or force field that I can project around myself and my car to keep people from hitting my flipping car. Or someone can give me super powers (think Violet from The Incredibles).





On a good note: Craig Ferguson tonight. OMG, you guys, OMG.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Onycophagia

YOU GUYS.


I'm biting my nails again...




I'm kind of upset about this.

I was doing so well. And then I got the new job and got busy and stressed (the good stress, though) and I looked at my hands today and went, "WHA????"

I don't think I'd even realized that I've been doing it. I need help. It's gross and makes my hands look bad.

I've tried the rubberband trick and painting the gross tasting stuff on them, etc. but nothing seems to stick. I've even tried paying myself when I don't bite them and paying someone else when I do to motivate me. I've tried chewing gum and getting weekly manicures to keep them looking nice so I don't want to mess them up, but when I least expect it I find myself nibbling on the edges absentmindedly, defeating my own efforts.

Hi. My name is Heather and I'm a nail biter.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Does This Mean I'm Not A Grown Up?

Someone pointed something out to me today. They said, "Not that it's a thing, but I've noticed that you never wear lipstick".

And you know what, they are correct.

I love chapstick and little-girl lipgloss (not the older girl- too much bright pink gloss, but the LipSmackers vanilla clear lipgloss).

I have about a billion different types of chapstick/lip balm (whichever you prefer... don't blame your regional diction differences on me; it's clear that NW folks don't have an accent or many regional phrases).

Then I got to thinking. Lipstick is for grown up women, and am I really old enough to wear it?

Lipstick is a n "older" face accessory in my opinion, one that I think I won't wear until I'm a little old lady and then it will be hot pink or bright red. I hate lipliner and the fact that lipstick gets all over your drinking glass or straw or spoon. You can't kiss your boyfriend without leaving colored smears and lip-prints (and BF would look hilarious wth Raving Raisin colored lips) and you have to reapply that stuff CONSTANTLY.

Don't get me wrong, I've worn lipstick before, but the occassions are few and far between (for musicals, to dress up for a theme like 80's night, to dress up for Vegas night).

But lipstick is really not me. Does this mean I'm not a grown up? I don't even care.

Speaking of grown ups:

Some of my friends are getting wrinkles (not that I noticed it, they have self-professed them). Listen, Mother Nature, I'm in in twenties and I think it's a bit premature to have wrinkles at this age. Please spare me until I'm 60. Can I please have my mom's skin? She's almost 60 and has a face as smooth as a baby's behind. WRINKLE FREE.

No lipstick and no wrinkles until 60.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Dallas and All That...



OOOOOEEEEMMMMGEEEEEE, you guys.


I'm planning a meeting for work and it's going to be in Dallas, TX. I'll be there for almost a week.

Can I just say that I'm not a huge fan of the South. My dad's from a Southern state, so we lived there for a while, and we visit every now and then. And I'm fine with JUST VISITING. I like to be there for a few days- eat the good home cooking, laugh at the almost indecipherable accents and slang, and experience a bit of the warmer weather. But that's about it.

I'm oddly excited about this trip. For many reasons:


1. I'm helping plan the activities and fun stuff we get to do when not in meetings.

2. I will get out of the Pacific Northwest during it's most dreariest of months.

3. I LOVE work meetings.

4. We may go line dancing.

5. We may go to a Lakers/Mavs game.

6. I may be ordering everyone custom belt buckles.




This really just boils down to one thing for me: I get to buy COWGIRL BOOTS for a reason. Not a very solid reason, but reason enough because-

a) I can't go line dancing in tennis shoes.

b) I can't wear a belt buckle without wearing a leather belt.

c) I can't wear a leather belt and huge belt buckle with my Chuck Taylor's (or other sneakers for that matter).



So I'm browsing for cowgirl boots today, and will hopefully have my own pair (and perhaps some Wranglers and a Stetson) before the meeting.

Stop judging me. You know you want some too!



Here are some of my options:














Sick Brain... and what I do on my sick days off work

So I'm still sick.
Not as sick as I was, but still uncomfortable. I went home early from work yesterday- which is rare for me. I got to take a 4 hour nap, which I would have enjoyed more if I wasn't under the influence of heavy cough and cold medicines and if I could've been breathing easily out of my nose.

I did, however, get to read a bit since I was far too exhausted to do much else. I recently got the book American on Purpose by Craig Ferguson. I've got his fictional book as well, but I like this one better because I like to know about people's lives. Anyway, I spent a good majority of my "awake" time yesterday reading it. I liked Craig Ferguson before, but now I REALLY like him. I don't know if I can explain it right so I'm not going to try- I still have sick brain.





I don't know about you, but I think I like biographies and autobiographies best lately. I cannot believe some of the things that people have gone through and survived, and I also cannot believe some of the things that people put themselves through and survive. Anyway, Mr. Ferguson is one of those people that I've always thought was riotously hilarious. Some people don't really have to try, they just hit my funnybone the right way. He wrote and was in the movie Saving Grace, which is one of my all time FAVORITE movies, EVER.

Despite my sick brain and medicated thought this week, I have enough sense to know when to act on something, and that something is GETTING CRAIG FERGUSON TICKETS.

Oh yes. As BF was driving home from school/work (because at this point it is one in the same) the other day, he noticed a particular name on a marquee. So being the wondrous BF that he is, he texted me:

BF: (via text) "craig ferguson at the aladdin!

Me: "Alkaline Trio is Feb 19, $18" - because I'm a caring GF like that.

... and then I stopped texting and called him because it hit me what he said. I looked up tickets and when he answered I said, "I REALLY WANT TO SEE CRAIG FERGUSON!!!! but... tickets are $50. A. Piece.!"

So after a bit of debating with myself I realized that this is a MUST. It's like the time I saw Stella. It was AMAZING and I'm so glad I went to that, and I feel like this will be the same way.
I'm hoping to buy tickets today. Until January 24th I will be waiting on pins and needles to see this show.
I'm a dork. I know this. Let's just go ahead and blame this on my sick brain (for now).

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Spiders and Sleeping and Colds, OH MY!

I thought I'd escaped it.

I thought that for once I was the only one not having to deal with it.

But I was wrong.


I had strange dreams last night. I fell asleep watching Craig Ferguson (because that's what I do), but I was in that strange state between awake and sleep and I was aware of that. Then I started to dream about playgrounds and a quaint little town that I've never been to and mechanic shops and SPIDERS.

I. HATE. SPIDERS.

In my dream I was sitting under a gazebo with my mom because it was raining and there were spider webs everywhere up in the rafters. Then I looked up above me and there was a disgusting spider hanging out on it's web. And then I looked over to my side and there was an even bigger, fatter spider just hanging out. Then my leg touched something and I looked down and there were spider webs clinging to me!!!!

OH THE HORROR.

So I woke up twisting around in my sheets and blankets, flailing my leg and thinking I'm being touched by spiders.

In reality I woke up with a nasty cold.

I'm the only so far this season at work and at home that hasn't gotten some illness. I thought I got off easy this year because I'm usually the one with the 3-month lingering cold on top of the flu on top of strep-throat.

I'm doubling up on the multivitamins and Emergen-C drink powder. I'm now going to go home and wash my sheets, just in case there are any lingering spiders.