Disaster Magnet

I must be wearing a sign that says ,"Be an idiot around me and cause destruction to my person and my belongings... it will be fun!"

Seriously, you guys, I am not joking.

Friday evening after work I headed to the Portland International Airport to pick up my parents who were returning from a visit to the Grandparents' in Tennessee. Because I had to take ALL of the major highways in Portland to get to the airport, I was stuck in a considerable amount of traffic- which I planned for so I left a little early. I don't think I reached a speed over 35 mph the whole trip, but I had prepared for this and already had my iPod on a good playlist to keep me from losing my mind in the slow crawl on 26, 405, 84 and then the 205. (Side note: I sing in the car to keep the road rage at bay and it works, but more than once I've caught people staring at me singing at the top of my lungs and you know what? I don't care).

Anyhow, I was on the 205 almost to the airport exit NOT MOVING AT ALL singing my lungs out. I had been sitting in the same spot for about 3 or 4 minutes and not caring at all because Phoenix has some pretty catchy beats that not only can I sing to but I can also dance in my seat to, so that's what I was doing. All of a sudden there is a very LOUD crunching sound and I'm being moved towards the car in front of me. Luckily I'm a smart/lucky lady and had left the proper amount of space as an air cushion in front of me so I did not hit that car. Once my car had stopped moving, I put on my flashers and pulled over the 3 feet to the shoulder and before I knew it I was out of my car moving pretty quickly towards the car that had just hit me.

I'm going to pause here to explain a couple of things.

1. This is not the first time I've been hit by another idiot driver not paying attention to the road and where there was nothing I could do to prevent or avoid the collision.

2. I've come to realize from my previous accidents that my body is programmed to pick, out of the "Fight or Flight" responses, "Fight". I'm not a super agressive person, mostly, so it's kind of a shock to me that this would be my automatic response in a stressful/reactive situation.

3. I had been singing and dancing up to this point so I was in a pretty good mood despite the traffic.

Continue...

I get to the back of my car before I realize that I am out of my car and getting ready to open this person's door and beat the living crap out of them for hitting my car. I stop in my tracks and pretend that I was just getting out to inspect the damage. I stare at my rear bumper for a good thirty seconds before I actually begin to SEE my rear bumper because mostly I'm trying get a good handle on my adrenaline rush. I inspect my bumper as best I can in the dark and rain and realize that my car is AWESOME- hardly a scratch on it. The person that hit me was not as lucky... a Subaru's bumper shaped dent in their front bumper and a bent up license plate- but nothing HUGELY horrific.

We exchange information in the rain and as I'm waiting for them to write extra information down for me I glance up at their car... filled with VERY SMALL children, waving at me. I sort of start to laugh because I realize that they weren't phased in the least by this. It was an adventure to them, not a tragedy (because how can a 3 year old comprehend the possibilities of this situation?) I get back into my car and continue my slow crawl to PDX.

I need to ask a favor now. I need someone to invent an invisible shield or force field that I can project around myself and my car to keep people from hitting my flipping car. Or someone can give me super powers (think Violet from The Incredibles).

On a good note: Craig Ferguson tonight. OMG, you guys, OMG.