Oh, THIS is What Everyone Was Talking About

Holy Shit, I'm having a meltdown today for whatever reason.  Well, for like a million reasons, really.  Everyone's been asking how wedding plans are coming along and how things were going and up to yesterday they were GREAT!  I feel like we have been so far ahead of things in the planning department that all there was really left to do was wait for the wedding.  I mean, there are always a few little details to figure out, but for the most part all of the big stuff is taken care of and I don't have any (knock on wood) last minute issues to figure out.

Despite all of my organization and planning I am having a full on freak out about this wedding and the fact that it is only 46 days away.  I can't even really pinpoint what my issue or issues may be.  Everything I can control is taken care of.  I cannot control other people or affect the outcome of things unplanned.  So what's my deal?  This must be what other brides have told me about- the total stress that sneak-attacks and takes over.  Doesn't even make sense.

Also, I'm freaking out about the bridal shower this week.  My MOH invited around 40, but we've only heard back from 4.  So now I'm thinking, "Am I completely unlikable?  Why aren't people RSVP'ing?  Is it because it's on a Friday afternoon?  Because that's the only day and time most people said they were available!!! OMG!!!!!  Let's have a heart attack about it!  I've already ordered cupcakes!".  I know I'm being a total idiot, but I don't want to have her plan this thing and spend time and money on it if no one is going to come.  

Tomorrow we are supposed to meet with our officiator so that's one more thing I can cross off of my list of to do's.  I'm not sure if I want to write my own vows or what, but I guess after tomorrow's conversation I should have a better idea.  

We leave for Hawaii in a week, and I'm super excited and I think I'll be able to relax for that.  I'm a little nervous about having someone new stay at the house with them, but I think they'll be ok for the most part.

Someone give me a sedative.