BAD TIMING

Another thought for today... and it's just because I can't stop my brain.

Life, for me, is just bad timing. Ok, not all of the time. But right now that's how I feel. I guess part of that has to do with not being able to control other people... which is definitely a good thing. I think I would be far more unhappy if I could do that- not that I am seriously unhappy about much.

I can't go much into specifics. You'd thank me because if you knew the specifics you'd know it's a headache and a half so the less you know the better you'll feel about life; I'm sparing the details and I'll just say this:

People, make up your mind about things and then just do whatever it is you want or need to do. Don't wait for things unless you need to because chances are whomever else may be involved in the situation will eventually make their own decisions and then when you finally come around with yours that other person (or people) probably made the exact opposite decision and have learned to live with it. This is also known as bad timing. Watch pretty much any movie and bad timing is a sub-plot- usually intertwined with love triangles or relationships in general. That's not necessarily indicative of my situation, though.

Anyhow, that's my PSA for the week.

More Races, Please!

I've never really liked running. I'm pretty honest about it. Sometimes I go through phases and it makes me feel good, so I do it, but I've never professed my love for running. I'd rather not get sweaty and gross when nothing is chasing me and I could very well use a different form of transportation to get somewhere.

What made me think that I would like running in a race? Who knows. But I decided I would try it... and I surprised myself. I LOVED it. I want to do more. I'm not saying I did wonderfully and am a natural, but running this year's Livestrong Challenge motivated me to start doing something. So I'm looking for more races (preferrably not too serious ones that are around 5k). If you hear of any, let me know!

No Nap...

and I was so upset. Seriously almost to tears. I had to run last minute errands for work because there are crazy meetings and things going on today and tomorrow so they HAD to get done. So I ran around town looking for race-themed items for meeting supplies, etc. FYI- found some totally WT can-cozy things with Nascar drivers and logos on them. Yay!

But back to sleep: by the time I got home it was almost eight o'clock and I was SO hungry. My mom suggested we go on a quick walk and then go get something to eat. I said sure since I try to be active everyday... and really hadn't done any exercise yesterday up to that point. So we walked briskly then hopped in the car to go get food. We drove all over the place trying to figure out what we wanted that was still open (surprisingly a lot of things close at 8 or 9... and it's still daylight. Weird. We finally got food and drove home. I had to put together goody bags for the meetings and pack up my car with meeting supplies before I could go to bed, so when it was all said and done, I didn't get a nap. Not even a second to sit down and relax at all.

Sad part is that I am going to be at meetings for work until 10 or 10:30 tonight so I won't get one tonight... and tomorrow I'm going to the Death Cab for Cutie show at Edgefield after work- which I think is actually better than a nap. I do have Friday off though. I'm so sleeping in and then taking a nap Friday. Maybe.

How do some people manage to take a nap almost every day? It's baffling.

Naps = Happy

For three days I've been saying I need to take a nap. I'm determined that this will happen today. Nap sleeping is vastly different from night sleeping. I don't know why, but I think it is much more satisfying. It is my theory that this is because naps are like a gift, and going to bed is routine.

So after work I'm going to take a nap before I do anything else. If you call me, I apologize ahead of time, but I'm not going to answer. If you come over, I'm locking the door so don't expect admittance. There is no way I'm going another day without one.

Also, places of employment should institute nap times at work. I think we'd be a happier country if mandatory nap-time was the standard. You could pick when you wanted, though. I definitely couldn't take a nap anywhere between 11am and 2pm. Between 3pm and 6pm is the optimal time for me.

Last note: did anyone have "mental health days" in health class in high school? If you know what I'm talking about, let's discuss the hilarity and awesomeness of that soon.

Karma

is a wonderful thing. Some people call it by different names. Some folks just stick to the philosophy that what goes around comes around and vice versa and don't call it anything. Some attribute it to a higher power, be it God or otherwise, balancing life and the universe. I've even labeled it "vibes" in certain context while talking about one of my many life theories. Either way, I think we all agree that this "Karma" thing exists to a certain extent.

I'm a pretty proactive girl and usually don't sit around and wait for things to happen to me. I see what I want or need to do and do it. That simple; for the most part. Because I am this way it's sometimes hard for me to ignore mean/rude/aggravating people and just "turn the other cheek". I don't condone revenge nor do believe in "getting back at people", because that's what I've been taught- although sometimes I really want to... and occassionally I do because I just can't resist (hey, I'm not perfect). There's a certain amount of built-in frustration to this way of living, however I've always believed that if you do the right thing, everything will work out fine in the end. Sometimes it takes "the end" FOREVER to come, so the equalizing results are just not seen immediately... very hard for a proactive and antsy girl.

Life is good at this; making me wait for things. I guess I need to learn patience, although that is arguable. Back to the point- once we give up that "karma"/the universe/a higher power will take care of what's been done, something amazing happens; "Karma" delivers. Usually double. What do I mean? I mean it does the bad thing back to the person who originally committed the bad thing, and then it gives a good thing to the person who was wronged. You can't always see it, but it happens. And the best part about it is that usually "Karma" lets the wronged person know that things have been equalized. You may have to wait a while; you may get to the point where you think that life is unfair; you may get re-frustrated at what was done and then have to wrestle with it and then forgive and get over it. You may do these things many times over for years sometimes and then you will forget. And then Karma gives you a gift.

So thank you "Karma" (as I will now collectively call it). You make doing the right thing even better, and you make doing the wrong thing positively scary. Evil-doers beware.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

... and I know that. I learned that lesson long ago when I was preoccupied with Barbies and tea parties. Who doesn't have a story about wanting a toy or a movie, etc and being told no and then thinking it was the END of the WORLD because you weren't going to get that ONE THING that you WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING... but a day or so later you didn't really miss not having it. More recently I learned that you sometimes get what you want, but then you realize you don't want it. Actually, I knew that too, but in a different context- like when you really want ice cream so you get some after dinner, take one bite and then realize you're so stuffed from a delicious dinner that you can't eat the ice cream.

Ok, so it's like that, but not really. And I'm not the only one learning this right now...

I guess the circumstances for things need to be right, and sometimes instant gratification would lead to ruin later. We can't see that all of the time. Foresight is never 20/20; sometimes it's legally blind. But we move on and we learn to live differently. We grow and forgive, we love and let go, we ponder and pray and know that it's always in God's hands, not our own.

"33"

Speak to me in a language I can hear
Humour me before I have to go
Deep in thought I forgive everyone
As the cluttered streets greet me once again
I know I can't be late, supper's waiting on the table
Tomorrow's just an excuse away
So I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own
The earth laughs beneath my heavy feet
At the blasphemy in my old jangly walk
Steeple guide me to my heart and home
The sun is out and up and down again
I know I'll make it, love can last forever
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth
And you can make it last, forever you
You can make it last, forever you
And for a moment I lose myself
Wrapped up in the pleasures of the world
I've journeyed here and there and back again
But in the same old haunts I still find my friends
Mysteries not ready to reveal
Sympathies I'm ready to return
I'll make the effort, love can last forever
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth
Tomorrow's just an excuse
And you can make it last, forever you
You can make it last, forever you


... best song in the world.

Different But Still the Same

It was quite a weekend. My comfortable little shoe-box life was shaken up and dumped out, then shoveled back into the same packaging once more. But I'm still me, just slightly rearranged.

I still cook a mean dinner, though. And here is what I did yesterday:

Linguine with Spicy Italian Sausage and Red Sauce. There's no recipe. I'll sit down and write one out later and post it because it's quick and easy and DELICIOUS. My best weekend accomplishment.

Also, I've successfully made it the 21 days it takes to break a bad habit: biting my nails. YAY! Now I'm obsessed with painting them. Guess that's better than the alternative.