Some things in life scare me... a lot. Some of those things make sense, like huge gross spiders, and creepy-crawly little animals, and drunk drivers. Some of those things do not.
I'm trying my best to get over those things, but I cannot always talk myself out of them. Mostly, I'm afraid because I'm insecure; uncertain of the outcome of a situation because I don't control other people and what they will decide to do/not do. Not that I want to control other people (not even a little bit) but you know what I mean.
Anyhow, I was feeling totally silly this weekend because I just can't talk myself out of being scared by relationships. I think I'm doing a pretty good job keeping my irrational fears/emotions at bay until I can deal with them in a healthy way, but for some freaking reason I had a problem this weekend. Who knows why. Maybe it's the impending holiday season? You tell me.
But I've got to tell you, BF is great at helping me deal. He may not know it, and he may not even know that I'm one big ball of chaos on the inside sometimes, but I'm very thankful for him. I'm also very thankful that he has a sense of humor about things because things would not work out if he didn't.
Cute story from this weekend:
We're riding in the car and BF says, "Look at what is written on my hand."
So I look, expecting a funny doodle or word or even a gross joke, but no, I found the word "FLOWERS" printed across the back of his hand.
"Flowers... for what?" I ask.
"For you! I was going to get flowers for you for being so great and understanding during this semester... but I didn't like any of the flowers."
"Oh! Well, that's the sweetest thing ever!"
And you know what? Even though I didn't actually get the flowers, I got something better. Reassurance that I actually mean something to someone that I care about... enough that he thinks about me when we aren't hanging out. That is very nice to know.
Sappy enough for you? Happy Monday.
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