There are some people that I just want to walk up to and say "Bless your heart..." and give them a hug. I have an acquaintance whom I've sort of known for about a year or so. I see this person here and there often and we make small talk; we aren't "best friends", but we have mutual respect I think. Anyhow, I was perusing the interwebs the other day and ran across this person's blog so I read a couple of the most recent postings. I found it pretty interesting as I've never had a deep conversation with this person so I felt as if I was getting a little deeper view of who this person is. And then I started to feel really bad. Not that this person has a particularly hard or sad life or anything like that, but I did realize that this person wants nothing more than for people to think highly of them and seems to put all of their effort into that rather than just focusing on what really makes them happy. They are trying so hard to be accepted when I think that if they just relaxed, life would kind of fall into place a little better... without so much effort and stress. I also think part of it (from what I've seen and read) has to do with self-imposed standards that are based on unrealistic ideals. It's like they feel they NEED to be a certain way or people will think less of them.
Now, you can't just walk up to someone and say "hey, I don't know you all too well, but I think you should do blank, blank and blank in your life because I know what's best for you", but I really want to let this person know that they are really cool, even when they don't try and that people like them no matter what.
Anyway, I feel like we could all be better to the people we care about and to our not so close acquaintances. I've got a new goal and that is to make sure that I let people know that I appreciate who they are and what they do and that I know them.
6 comments:
you know, I feel like I fall into this category. I try very hard for people to like me and to feel accepted, but when all is said and done, I haven't really let people get to know me. I actually think that trying so hard to be perfect has made people not like me as much as I would hope. I think it just makes people feel like they can't relate to you. I need to let go, but it's hard. I'm very OCD and I need control over everything. I am doing better and I can let go sometimes, but it's definitely a hard thing to do when you're not used to it
I can totally relate, Ashley. I have always been a people pleaser but my new years resolution was to stop trying so hard to make others happy and just be. I am always so scared that I am going to offend someone. But if they don't realize that my intentions are good then they don't know me very well and that's ok. Time heals all things. Great post Heather. You are such a sweetie!
I feel like at some point in our lives we've all been this person, and I've really started noticing when other people do it and just makes me so sad! I think part of it is that I'm sad people aren't happy with themselves and the other part is I feel I've not done enough as a friend to let people know that I truly value them... not for what they look like or wear or listen to, etc, but just because they are a good person and good friend to me.
I'm glad you guys can relate, I always feel like such a dope when I hastily post something I'm thinking about.
I totally need to do the same thing, Heather. I think I focus so much on myself and what others think of me that I'm not letting them know how much they mean to me. I tend to keep a lot of my feelings inside and I think that if I truly value someone, I need to let them know! So, big goals for me. I need to learn to let go and I need to let those that I value know how I feel. I'm glad you posted about this. I think it's important for everyone
I just read my post again and it read like, "My new years resolusion is to be more of a self absorbed b%@#$"...hahaha. I should probably stop leaving comments on peoples blogs. Or stop being a pathological apologizer. I'm sorry if I offended anyone (crap I already broke my ny resolution!).
But seriously Heather, I have always thought of you as hyper sensitive to others needs and feelings. I know of multiple times when I was feeling socially retarded at a gathering you came up and talked to me and really made me feel at ease. And from what I hear Courtney say about Ashley, it sounds like she is the same way. I think it's a gift that comes more naturally to some than others.
Mandee- I'm so glad you comment on people's blogs because you always have a valid point and nice things to say... so don't feel like you shouldn't!
I know I always appreciate it!
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