Laurie Notaro...

I read a lot. I mean, A LOT. And I've grown really fond of reading Laurie Notaro's semi-autobiographical books. I say "semi" because some of these things that happen cannot possibly be 100% true. Hilarious, though. They are definitely a nice, light and humorous read.

Today at work I took a break and got some ginger ale and opened my book (I'm currently reading I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) by Laurie Notaro). One passage in particular made me laugh so hard I was shaking and no more sound would come out of my mouth. Why? Because Ms. Notaro has a mother like my own. Here is a little of what I read:

"They're muffin candles," she said, much like she would say, "This is a
candle. And this is a muffin." Separately they're fine, I was dying
to tell her, it's together that they're a problem.

So I said, "Well, why don't you burn them?"

And she said, "Because they're not for burning. Burning would melt them."

So I said, "Well, what are they for then?"

And she said, "To look like muffins."

So I said, "Then why don't you just get some muffins?"

And she said, "What, are you an idiot? You just can't leave muffins on
the counter day in and day out without people thinking that you live like an
animal! I don't want people running around town, saying that I keep the
same old muffins on the counter!"

It might not be hilarious to you, but my mom buys some of the silliest things just "for looks". She saves them for years! We have this gel candle in a jar on the kitchen table that looks like fruit in a jar. EVERYONE that comes over looks at it, opens it and then realizes that it's not edible. When she first purchased this ridiculous item, I pointed out that it looked exactly like food and that people were going to get confused. I also pointed out that we had young children running through the house and one of them just might eat it because it also smelled good. She still has that candle, and it has small finger-holes in it from small hands that thought it was too good looking and smelling to leave alone.

Eventually I will probably turn out the exact same as my mother, in spite of trying. But I think I'm ok with that, even if I act like I'm not.