Pausing

I can't tell the people that need to hear this because I feel it would be too... whiney? I don't know.

Sometimes I just feel like I work so hard and I'm just not recognized for it. This doesn't just apply to one situation or area in my life and I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. I don't think it's right to do things with less than your full ability so I approach almost everything I do with my full force. That gets tiring. Not just accomplishing things, but also moving on to the next thing and the next without anyone ever pausing to say,"Hey, you're freaking awesome and you should take a break and let me handle stuff for a bit". Moms feel this way a lot, and for good reason. I try to keep that in mind and tell my mom she is great and I love her all the time and I do what I can to help lighten her load as well. Some days I just want someone to do that for me.


I sort of hit my wall today... emotionally, physically... I pretty much feel done with everything. I've been juggling a million projects and events at work, working out hard and often, trying new activities to keep from being stagnant, trying to eat right, supporting BF with school/teaching stuff and with body building and now I need to pause. This is for my sanity.

I need some reassurance, support and love or I feel my insides are going to explode.

Of course, I don't feel like I can say, "Hey, BF, come up with something romantic to do for me so I feel pretty and special," or "Hey, LSL (Little Sister Laura) maybe clean the bathroom and don't leave your laundry in the hallway for a couple of days so I don't feel so claustrophobic" or even, "Hey, people I work with, maybe look online for answers and try to proactively solve your issues before you come asking for me to do things for you because I already have a To Do list a million miles long". Just to name a few things.


So this weekend I am not planning any activities. I'm going to do what I think is fun and hopefully I'll feel better about life come Monday.